Keira's legacy: Remembering Keira on her home day

The day I brought Keira home was one of the happiest days of my life. This year marks the 10 year anniversary of Paws For Reaction. It breaks my heart that I made it to this milestone without her head resting on my knee and her droopy eyes looking up at me as I type this.

Remembering an unforgettable dog: It's been a year since we said goodbye to Keira 

I read a quote recently that resonated with me. It said, "Grief does not shrink, we expand to accommodate it." The hole that Keira left in my life (and in Hazel's life) is as large as it was a year ago, but Hazel and I have grown to accept that it will always be there. On July 13, 2020, I made the difficult decision to euthanize my sweet, beloved Keira. Even though it was the right thing to do because she was suffering from an unknown illness (possibly gastric cancer) I had a hard time letting her go. I remember being in total disbelief. It's hard to believe a year has gone by already. 

She was a once in a lifetime dog: Remembering Keira on Pet Memorial Day

They say grief doesn't shrink, we just grow to accommodate it. I still haven't grown enough to make space for the immense grief I feel after losing my sweet Keira. I never expected to own a pet who would leave paw prints on so many hearts. Keira had a spirit that lingered; it lingers still. All the feelings are still raw and close to the surface, not enough layers of life and time to bury the pain. But as we approach a year since I lost my best friend, I've noticed like most things in my life, I'm slowly learning how to manage the emptiness. The hollow. I've found a few ways to fill it, even if only temporarily. 

Christmas mourning: How to cope with your first holiday season after losing a pet

I'm forcing myself to be festive this year. I've had times in my life when I skipped Christmas altogether. "I'm not Christmasing this year," I'd say when people asked me standard holiday questions like "Do you have your tree up yet?" This year I'm forcing myself to be festive for the sake of my mental health. One small reason is the COVID-19 pandemic has sucked so much happiness out of 2020 that I'm trying to infuse some of the obligatory Christmas joy into what's left of the year. The biggest reason for my forced festivities is Keira. More specifically the loss of Keira I suffered earlier this year.